A Mother: My First Year of This Incredible Journey

‌‌A year into our journey together, my son still prefers to sleep in my arms. And I don't mind. I've learned to work while my baby naps snuggled on my chest during the day, and with time, we perfected the level of coziness and efficiency.

He is my inspiration. He is also my torturer (Sleepless nights? Poop? Teething? I won't stay quiet about the reality of parenting. No, not me). But I wouldn't have it any other way. I appreciate every single moment. It just takes time to start appreciating the worst moments of it. It takes time and sleep.

Oh, yeah. Sleep. I haven't had any in exactly a year today. Someone needs to say it how it is, right? Babies don't sleep. This is normal. It will pass.

When, tho?

Anyway, it's my son's first birthday and I am overwhelmed with emotions. I have been a mother for a year now. Wow.

Parenting is an amazing journey. No, seriously.

You start as strangers. Undoubtedly familiar but strangers nonetheless. Two strangers that somehow care about each other deeply. A mother and a baby, together at last.

The two don't understand each other at first, even as they share emotional aura and are still so very much connected on so many levels. They need to learn to understand each other.

The love, the bond, is not yet fully grown either. It is born with the baby, sometimes even earlier, and it is born unbreakable. But it will grow and evolve and strengthen with time.

It is a responsibility like no other to invite another soul into this world

Parents become guides, explaining the rules of this world, teaching safety from danger. Parents become adults. They are the ones making decisions and sacrifices now. No one else can.

Parents become love, teaching children empathy, patience, care, and acceptance. Parents become givers, unconditionally, unquestionably always ready to share.

Parents become protectors, always ready to fight for their child, even as they fight with their own shadows. Parents become the ones, whose decisions and indecisions can cause harm, whose actions and lack of thereof can have consequences.

Is it too much responsibility to accept? Absolutely. But we are all doing our best. And we accept this sweet responsibility with gratitude.

I am terrified and in awe, and still pretty much delirious. I've been riding the most thrilling rollercoaster this past year, and it changed me.

I grew so much bigger. I became more honest—with myself, to myself, about myself. I became softer, kinder. I became more authentic and raw. I became me.

I am a mother. Phoenix reborn.

I remember the moment I realized that I was, in fact, a giver. Eight months pregnant, I was on my daily walk at the park. With this song in the background, I felt it so strongly–the desire to give. Unconditionally. Anyway, it's an awesome song even if you aren't all pregnant and sentimental.